


Imperium

by KR Grim (KR_Grim)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: AU, F/F, F/M, Human Empire, Peaceful Trolls
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2011-08-23
Updated: 2012-01-08
Packaged: 2017-10-22 23:44:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/243891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KR_Grim/pseuds/KR%20Grim
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Terran Imperium, a massive empire, spans the stars. Those alien sapients deemed non-threatening join an ever-growing crowd of Vassal Species, while those deemed threatening are reduced to a handful of First Vassals, the rest wiped out. After the destruction of one such group of "dangerous aliens", High Enforcer John Egbert and the rest of the four-human crew of the IES <em>Vanguard</em> find themselves traveling toward the peaceful planet Alternia, a world that has only rarely known war. Meanwhile, on Alternia, prophet Sollux Captor predicts the coming of four immortals, whose arrival will trigger a chain of events that could change the course of the entire universe...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Flight of the Vanguard

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [never going to save the world](https://archiveofourown.org/works/170402) by Anonymous. 



> I never actually finished reading the fic that I got the idea from, but while I was browsing the internet I just got the idea popping into my head uninvited. So I decided to run with it. As I figure out the pairings they'll get posted, but for now have the one pairing that's going to be definite in this thing. Because for some reason I have come to fall absolutely head over heels with John/Nepeta; it's my favorite pairing for John outside John/Rose.
> 
> Anyway, enjoy!

**Sector Sigma 6, Northeast Forward Subsector, Former Andorian Space (coordinates 8.84, 9.734, 6.321)**

A small ship, carrying the last free members of a proud and ancient species, sailed silently through the vacuum of space. Their pursuers, a much larger ship, mostly automated, pursued in equal silence, the four beings on board more crew than it needed. The IES Vanguard, staffed by four adults who looked to be in their mid-20s, was closing in on its target. A target, her captain reflected, that probably had women and children on board. Such a tragedy.

The Imperator’s word, however, was law. And he knew better than most the dangers of an alien child left as the final survivor apart from the First Vassals. It had been one of those mercy-spared children who’d come back to kill the Imperator’s father all those years ago. No, the order had come. The Andorians were to be eliminated. And these, these… eighty, if the life signs were to be believed, they were the last ones. The moon of Andor would be repopulated with Vassals, and Andor itself would be mined by more Vassals.

John Egbert pressed the button to fire. His heart was heavy as he did so. These were sapient beings he’d just consigned to death. With the exception of the First Vassals, captured mere days before, they were the last of their kind. The missile darted toward the Andorian ship. At the moment of impact, the missile’s warhead detonated. John imagined a sudden “thump” as all of the “blank space” between the atomic nuclei, electrons, and molecules within the blast radius was forcibly removed.

The resultant explosion would have blinded anyone who saw it. The targets were all dead; the crushing had been what had killed them. This had merely scattered the remains. John sighed; although they had been consigned to a horrible fate, they had died painlessly. John sighed. “Well, that’s that.” A callused hand settled on his shoulder, and a Texan bass spoke up.

“Yup. That’s that.” Dave Strider’s grip on his friend’s shoulder tightened a little. “You know, I wish I could be in the room with you when you reported to the Imperator.” John rolled his eyes.

“Dave, you know why we can’t do that.” John turned and looked at his navigator. “Any idea of when we’ll reach the next system?”

Jade Harley pulled up a holoscreen. “Looks like nine weeks. Seven of those without a sun to power us.” John frowned. “Don’t worry, John. The engines I make can withstand that. In fact, all the Vanguard can!” John nodded. “In the meantime, I’m going to go and prepare the hologrid to find the easiest route to the planet the scout drones picked out.”

Rose Lalonde, Imperial Ambassador, arched an eyebrow. “Any information on that planet?” she asked. “Information on, for instance, wars, or space travel, or other suitability factors?”

“Almost no wars. I’m sure the local sapients have known it, but there aren’t any currently. The world appears to be one government, space travel could develop but is not likely to before we arrive, and the race appears to be fairly long-lived by human standards.”

“So all in all, a fairly likely candidate for Vassalhood.” Rose sighed with relief. “Good. I could use an easy job for once. And I’m sure John would be quite happy taking his finger off the button for a little while.”

“It does wear a bit thin at times,” John confessed. “Now then, I need to contact our Glorious Imperator, so… would you guys mind?” The others nodded, exiting in an orderly fashion. John turned on the holoscreen and pressed the insta-call button to get in touch with the Imperator.

After two rings, a tall, gaunt, elderly man with a sallow face and dolorous brown eyes was looking back at him. The Imperator’s hands were bony and knotted and, if John had to guess, probably also arthritic. The robes of Imperial Office hung off his thin frame, and John was fairly certain they weighed him down somewhat. The Imperator smiled, an almost fatherly smile. “High Enforcer. I trust I find you well?” There was a slight rasp in the Imperator’s voice, as well as an element of weakness.

“Indeed. The Andorian threat has been eliminated, sire. My navigator is plotting a course as we speak to the next system.” John brought up the information on the system. “It appears to be your standard single-species planet, thankfully. And, if Envoy Lalonde is to be believed, possibly a species that could become Vassals.” The Imperator smiled.

“Well, High Enforcer, I shall be the judge of that. Although I must say your friend the Envoy likely has a good idea of how I would decide.” The Imperator laughed, although it only took a few chuckles to devolve into a coughing fit.

“My Liege, might I humbly suggest you take a brief rest? You seem ill.” The Imperator sighed at John’s suggestion. “I apologize for being so forward, your Majesty, I merely worry about your — “

“About my health. I realize this, my son.” The smile returned to the Imperator’s face. “My time shall come eventually, and when it does, I expect there will be much grieving.” For a moment, his eyes seemed almost glad. “Hmmm… but you are right. I grow weary, and may not last much longer. I think perhaps I shall take the rest you recommend.” The Imperator placed a fist over his heart in salute. “For the Glory of Earth.”

“May her glory be eternal,” replied John, placing his fist over his own heart. The transmission winked out. John slumped down into his seat. “I just wish, my liege, I had as much faith in your successor as you do.”

***

 **IES Vanguard, Sector Sigma 6, Northeast Forward Subsector (coordinates 8.899, 9.139, 7.014)**

John paced the command room. He’d had the ship shift some of its space to prison quarters and away from internalized weapon mechanisms. After all, vassals needed somewhere to be kept while they were still prisoners. And they couldn’t have free rein of the ship, now could they? “Jade,” he said, stopping in his pacing for a moment, “do you trust the man the Imperator’s chosen to take over?”

“The Heir?” asked Jade. She frowned, furrowing her brow and chewing on the end of the pen she kept around for when she had to ponder. “I don’t know. You’re the only one who’s met him, apart from Rose. And I doubt Rose is unbiased. Kind of hard to be when he’s your ex.” John nodded.

“I dunno, she gets along well enough with me.” John sighed. “I just… I can’t really explain it. I mean, I trust Imperator Androcles a lot. After Dad died, he took me in. He practically raised me. He’s… He really is like a second dad to me. And I don’t want to think of him making the wrong decision about who comes after him.” John looked at the walls. “But it’s predicting the future, and that’s a shady area at best.”

“Perhaps he’ll survive until the decision about these next sapients is made,” suggested Jade.

“It’s possible, but it’s about as likely as donuts raining from the sky.” John sat on the floor, head in his hands. “Well… onto happier subjects. These nanites you infected us with… what do they do?”

“They halt aging,” said Jade, grinning. “There shouldn’t be any side effects unless the nanites reject you — and if they do you’re likely going to be a puddle of flesh soon.” Jade frowned. “I offered the Imperator some, but he turned them down. I don’t get why. He’s a great ruler — kind but firm, strong but just. Why wouldn’t he want to rule forever?”

John smiled wistfully. “I asked him, once, before you made the nanites, back when I was a servant of an Imperial Guardsman, what he would do if he lived forever. His answer surprised me, Jade. He said, ‘I’d abdicate.’” John leaned back. “I asked him why, and he said, ‘Because, my child, a ruler must know when it is time to step aside. One man cannot rule forever. That way leads to discord and enmity the likes of which mankind has not seen in a long time. It leads to war, and to tyranny.’” A tear had risen, unbidden, to John’s eye, and he blinked it out, sending it streaming down his face. “Sorry. It’s just… The whole fact that he’s dying now is making me a little sad.”

“We have eight weeks to go, John, and he’s not dead yet.” John sighed.

“Yeah… but he will be when we make our report about the sapients on this planet. I just hope the new Imperator, God bless his soul, will listen to his advisors.” John grimaced. “And given what I’ve seen of the man… I really doubt that’s going to happen.”

***

 **IES Vanguard, Sector Sigma 6, Northeast Forward Subsector (coordinates 9.01, 8.021, 7.211)**

Rose paced in front of the cells John had made. “These look good,” she said. “Stable, strong, sturdy, other words beginning with ST.” A friendly hug ambushed her from behind, and Rose could feel the telltale signs of a woman’s embrace. “Hi, Jade.” Jade laughed.

“Guess I can’t hide who I am from you.” She let Rose turn around so they could hug. “Tell me, Rose, what do you think the aliens will be like? The drones didn’t give a physical description.”

“Well…” Rose sat down for a moment. “Given the past species that have been acquiescent, I’d say they’re probably fairly humanoid. Given the lack of war in their society, I’d peg them as being physically weak, likely ill-adapted to life on land. They’re probably cursed with more than four limbs as well as the coordination problems that causes. Hm?” Jade grinned.

“And I’m going to bet that they’re insectoid, possibly with a hive mind. Hive minded species tend to be less likely to go to war with themselves. As for what they look like beyond giant bugs… um… I’m gonna say they have six limbs, fangs in addition to mandibles… Well, you know. That sort of thing. I’m not sure they’d be a good vassal species necessarily, but they probably could be. Especially if we established the Imperator as their… um… queen, I guess.” Jade laughed a little.

Rose laughed as well. “Well, you’d know, miss Science.” Rose sighed. “You know, I really hope these guys are approved for Vassal status. Not going to lie, it hurt a bit when the Imperator decided the Andorians were too likely to rebel.” Rose looked at the screen in front of her. “All I could think of was the look on Terash’s face when I told him he’d be one of the last Andorians. I still can’t believe the Imperator would do that.”

“Yeah, neither can I,” said Jade. “Maybe John can tell us why?” Rose shrugged. “Anyway, enough about work. Do you want to see what I came up with for my latest invention?”

Rose laughed a little. “I thought we weren’t going to talk about work?” she joked. “Go ahead, though. Your inventions are always interesting.”

“Well, it’s something nice! I especially think you’ll like it.” Jade pulled open a hatch and removed from it a small white ball. “OK, hold out your hands.” Rose held them open and watched as Jade carefully placed the ball in her hands before pressing an almost-invisible button on the side.

The ball uncurled into the most precious replica of a kitten Rose had ever seen. Rose smiled as the kitten pawed gently at her sleeve before crawling up onto her shoulder. “Well, aren’t you just adorable?” asked Rose, scratching him under the shoulder.

“You’ll need to feed him daily to keep his fusion generator functional. I couldn’t make an air-only one small enough to power a kittendroid that grows realistically.” Jade grinned. “But once he’s old enough, he’ll last as long as you do, if you keep him well.” Rose sniffed back a tear.

“He reminds me of my old cat, Jaspers.” Rose stroked his head. “I think I’ll call you Jaspers too, little kitten.” Rose put an arm around Jade. “Thanks, Jade.” Jade grinned and hugged back.

“You’re welcome, Rose.”

***

 **IES Vanguard, Sector Sigma 6, Northeast Forward Subsector (coordinates 9.17, 6.613, 7.300)**

“I’m telling you,” said Dave, looking at the cells. “Androcles isn’t gonna last more than seven more weeks. And the decision on Vassalage is _always_ at least a week.” Dave frowned. “I mean, I could be wrong, he could decide quickly, but if he doesn’t…” Dave flipped through a sheaf of papers. “I had the computer dig up details on our imperator-to-be.”

“Let me guess,” said Jade. “The new Imperator would be bad news?” Dave laughed a little.

“This guy’s teflon. Nothing’s been able to stick to him. There’ve been allegations, though.” Dave picked out a few papers. “Like this one. Protests against vassal rights this guy’s said to have attended. Money transfers to an account known to be used for money laundering by human purity groups. Allegations of threats of a speciesist nature pre-vassal-rights legislation.” Dave scowled. “This guy has all the makings of the kind of Imperator that would do away with vassals entirely.”

“But we can’t run an empire as large as ours without Vassal Species,” argued Jade. “I mean, there aren’t enough humans, and we can’t breed humans fast enough! And what about the Vassal Councils? Surely they’d pitch a fit at being stripped of everything, wouldn’t they?”

“They would,” replied Dave, “but with the might of the Imperial Fleet? Not to mention the Vanguard.” Dave paused. “Say, Jade… If this guy turns out to be an Imperator who doesn’t have the Imperium’s interest at heart and just wants to pursue a Terran supremacist agenda, who has control of the Vanguard?”

“John.” Jade looked at the wall. “Then again, John’s sort of… I guess he’s the lynch-pin of the Imperator’s army. But at the same time, there’s loads of people who he’s made enemies of.”

“Lemme guess, supremacists?”

“And people who believe his promotion was nepotism, and people who think he’s too soft, and so on and so forth. I mean, you’ve heard the rumors about the Saiyans.”

“What, how I was the one who pressed the button? Yeah, I’ve heard. I’ve told everyone I meet it was a load of bullshit too, but nobody ever fucking listens to me, do they?” Dave flipped through the sheets. “But yeah. This guy’s a xenocidal maniac, if these allegations are true. I’m not sure the Imperator believed his enemies, though.”

“Probably not. And he does have decent leadership credentials,” noted Jade.

“He was an Admiral before getting picked to do replacement duty, that generally means leadership experience,” said Dave. “I just… god, I really hope John doesn’t shut down if the Imperator orders him to do something like that.”

“John’s a good guy,” said Jade, patting Dave’s shoulder. “He’ll be all right.”

***

 **IES Vanguard, Sector Sigma 6, Northeast Forward Subsector (coordinates 9.19, 6.520, 7.681)**

John paced the helm. “Dave, I get it. But… you’re only going on data. You haven’t seen his… quick-change act. The way he acts in front of the Imperator isn’t like how he acts around others.” John readjusted his glasses. “Around the Imperator, he’s espousing the virtues of cross-species harmony, mixed with a slight paranoia about vassal species. Away from the Imperator…” John frowned. “He and I were talking once. You know what he said to me?”

“Lemme guess, ‘kill ‘em all and let God sort it out’?”

“No, nothing like that. ‘The problem with the xenos is that they’re not us, and no matter how good a life you give them, they’re still not us. They aren’t interested in alliance — only bloody insurrection.’ It’s a quote from a book called _The Shibboleth Directive_. It’s… well, it’s a book that, if I had any proof he owns a copy of it, he’d be in Enforcer custody right now. It’s practically treason to own a copy unless you’re, well, the Imperial Library. It's a walking sedition manual.”

Dave frowned. “Sedition’s still a punishable offense?” he asked. “I thought that the Imperator allowed people to gather and express their displeasure with his policies.”

“No, Dave, there’s a difference,” replied John. “His Majesty has — I believe wisely — allowed for petition against the laws of the land. You don’t like a law, you can call upon the Imperator to have it investigated. Sedition is… OK, you were in the Space Corps, right?”

“Still am, technically.”

“It’s basically attempted mutiny.” Dave frowned.

“Oh. You mean violent overthrow, instead of just…”

“Yeah.” John drummed his fingers on the console. “ _The Shibboleth Directive_ is openly seditious, and it’s a very popular read among the human supremacist crowd. All about how Vassal Species are plotting the enslavement of humanity, how the Imperator is a puppet of the First Vassals of now-extinct species, how any Vassal in Imperial society is a terrorist…” John snarled. “It’s a horrible book, crawling with all sorts of ugliness. I read it once, to try and understand someone I’d arrested. It’s… It’s the one book where I wouldn’t mind if every copy were rounded up and burned.”

Dave’s eyebrows rose. “You? In favor of book burning? I can’t see it.”

“You haven’t seen this book,” John muttered darkly. His expression gazing at the console was one of intense hatred.

***

 **Sector Sigma 6, Northeast Forward Subsector, Orbiting Planet Alternia (coordinates 9.28, 6.117, 8.049)**

John looked at the holoscreen feed of the planet below. Two moons, orbiting peacefully. A massive, brilliant red sun that would probably cause the daytime to be incredibly hot and bright, forcing most inhabitants to be nocturnal (which would explain why the scout drones hadn’t turned up any images of the aliens inhabiting it).

And in the ship, he saw the capsule they were going to shoot down to the surface. The Universal Translator was working, although that wouldn’t mean anything if there wasn’t a language to translate. That’s why whoever got sent down would have to be an expert xenolinguist.

Rose Lalonde was fitting on the translation device and the breathing apparatus. The drones had reported the air wasn’t toxic, but it was possible the drones had malfunctioned — a remote possibility, but better to be safe than sorry. Rose grinned at him. “Ready, John?”

“Just doing a few last preparations. We’re in geosynch now, but I want to make sure everything’s all right with the Vanguard.” John shrugged uncomfortably. “You’re going to be OK, right?”

“John, we’re not dating anymore, you don’t have to be this caring.”

“Rose, you’re my friend, all right?” John looked over the dials. “Even if you are my ex, you’re my friend first, and part of that is making sure you aren’t diving headfirst into enemy fire or anything. Or making sure you don’t drag the Vanguard down with you.” John finished his go-over of the controls. “Everything looks clear. Capsule’s ready for you. Envoy Lalonde, good luck on your mission.”

“Thank you, High Enforcer Egbert.” Rose finished adjusting her suit and climbed into the pod. “Capsule ready to depart.” John grinned as he pressed the button.

“Hope everything goes well, Rose,” he muttered as he watched the capsule soar towards the ground through the viewport.


	2. Alternian Dawn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At the same time the _IES Vanguard_ is heading towards Alternia, twelve trolls get ready for the prophecies to come true in their own ways.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried to get all 12 trolls in this chapter, and I managed to do it. This chapter takes place during the same timeframe as the previous chapter, more or less.
> 
> Also, this chapter introduces Peaceful Alternia. For reference, the trolls are all 15 sweeps here. Also the Sufferer is still a heretic, and I didn't change all that much about troll society except toning the violence WAY DOWN.

**The Archduchy of Akhmaz, 8 weeks before the arrival of the Vanguard**

Archduke Eridan Ampora sighed. His land holdings were impressive (especially for a sea troll), his wealth was beyond imaginable, he had multiple red concubines to choose from, and his black romance was as good as it could get. And yet here he was, unhappy. And the source of his unhappiness sat right in front of him — a prophesied descendant of a martyr, one Foretold by legends ancient and heretical. A heretic who had come with, of all things, a warning. Karkat Vantas sickened him, and not in the oddly sexual way blackrom usually worked. No, this was an entirely platonic loathing, which Archduke Ampora hadn’t prepared himself for.

“Ampora.” Eridan narrowed his eyebrows. One of Vantas’s supposed station ought to be calling him Archduke. “I know why you’ve brought me here, Ampora. You’ve called me here because the Highbloods and their mirthsorcery doesn’t work on me. You’ve called me here because you see the Sign of the Sufferer on me. And you know what? It is.” Karkat displayed the symbol on his arm. The brutal irons used by the ancient highbloods to harm the Sufferer, the heretic who’d made a mockery of their religion. The heretic who’d claimed that joy was not caused by the Holy Intoxicants, but was instead the reward of a lifetime spent doing good.

“Mirthsorcery aside, Vantas, you are a heretic. Just like the Sufferer before you, you are a heretic.” Eridan placed a hand on his desk and stood up. “Vantas, your cult is damaging to Alternia!”

“My so-called ‘cult’ is saving Alternia!” Karkat placed a small metal replica of his symbol on the table. “I am the return of the Promised One. I am the Foretold. And I will not see you fall into the same trap as I once did, believing that I am a fake, a heretic who would see Alternia burn. I love my planet, and I love its people. Give up your riches, Archduke Ampora. Join us in our great effort. Together we can achieve grander things than the world has known!” Eridan shot up, slamming a hand on the table.

“You preach a false joy! Your joy can never be reached, Vantas! Go now. Leave my sight before I am forced to become violent! Take your heretical symbol and leave my world be!” Vantas straightened up and took the Sufferer’s symbol. And then, bowing respectfully, he left the room. Eridan sighed. “Guards, see that he is barred from the premises. I don’t want to deal with him again.”

***

 **The Capital, 7 weeks before the arrival of the Vanguard**

“Milady Feferi, the documents you requested.” The royal Archiver, Aradia Megido, held out a sheaf of papers. “Although I still don’t see why you need to read up on the predictions of someone who lived so long ago.”

“The Twofold Oracle had some important prophecy fragments. I mean, he predicted not only the rise of the Sufferer’s heresy, but the return of the Sufferer to continue his work.” Feferi glanced at the sheet in front. “…prophecies for sweeps from the reign of Her Royal Majesty Ravenear to the beginning of the reign of Princess Feferi. Why Princess? Don’t I survive to Coronation? I should get at least that much.”

“I’m still amazed that he predicted your name correctly, my queen.”

“I’m not queen yet, Aradia. Just call me Feferi.” Feferi sighed as she looked over the paper. “OK… so here’s some prophecies that have already been fulfilled, here’s the prophecy of the Great Unraveling that would eventually lead to the death of her Royal Majesy… Oh. Here’s the relevant prophecies. The Sufferer reborn, that’s already happened… the Lordly Abdication, it really hurt when Equius abandoned his duties as my Viceroy… The death of the Queen, that one was sad, seeing Her Majesty slip into illness and death… Ah, here it is. The Sky Invaders.” Feferi frowned. “I’m no good with Old Alternian. Aradia?”

“Ahem…” Aradia took the sheet and read over it. “And then, at the end of her reign, over Alternia shall come a silver bird. And the bird shall lay an egg, and from that egg shall be born a woman from beyond the stars. And twelve will join her, and these twelve shall be the saviors of all against the wrath of the vanguard’s Keeper.”

“Wait. A woman, full-grown, is going to hatch from an egg?” Feferi sighed. “This is weird. Any chance of this making more sense?” Aradia shook her head.

“On the other hand, Feferi, it’s still ten weeks away, if the prophecy is right. And by then the Queen will have been dead for a full sweep, and you’ll be crowned for real.” Aradia shrugged. “I still don’t get why she implemented that law.”

“The Great Unraveling. It was the only way she could keep ahold of her kingdom.” Feferi sighed. “Although it does mean that if the bird shows up early, I won’t get to be queen.” Aradia began massaging Feferi’s shoulders.

“Milady, I’m sure things will work out. Don’t worry.”

***

 **The Barony of Murkish, 6 weeks before the arrival of the Vanguard**

Baroness Vriska Serket drummed her fingers. Murkish was a decent place, if you liked farmland and didn’t give two shits about adventure. That, however, pretty much described the opposite of the Baroness. The two guests at her estate were preventing her from going out to her seaside holdings and adventuring.

The first one to arrive had been Magister Sollux Captor, leader of the Council of Mages. His golden robes and blue-and-red eyes marked him as a possible Descendant — possibly the _actual_ Descendant — of the Twofold Oracle. He deserved respect, however grudging it might have been. Serket remembered him having his front teeth; someone or something must have knocked them out since their last meeting.

The second arrival was a bit of a shock. Nepeta Leijon was a known Apostate, a heretic who had boldly proclaimed to follow the teachings of the Sufferer. The Signless One had returned, she claimed, and now was the time for all to unite in the mutual improvement of their world. Or something. Vriska didn’t really care. The only reason the Apostate was here was something about thinking this was being inhabited by the Viceroy. Someone hadn’t told her he’d abdicated.

“OK, first off, Apostate, you’re not leaving.” Nepeta’s lip curled indignantly. “Look, I’m not turning you over to the Ministry. God, I’m not a total idiot. I’m just going to… look, here.” Vriska reached out a hand, holding out some chocolate. “Chocolate. I promise it’s all right for you to stay here. Not like the Ministry would check here, I’m hardly devout. Plus, I mean, what’s not to like about lying to a holy man?” Captor snorted.

“Please, Serket.” Vriska frowned. The lisp that had made him sound insufferable was gone now too. “The less we talk about holy men, the better. Now, if you’re done inadvertently frightening Miss Leijon, I’d like to speak with you about prophecy. Unless you’re scared of such talk?”

“Nah. Actually, knowing the future makes it interesting.” Vriska grinned, sharp fangs glistening. “So I take it you found out something involving me?” Sollux nodded. “Well, Captor, what the hell is it?”

“It’s related to one of the Twofold Oracle’s prophecies. The most famous one.” He leaned in close to the two girls. “In fact, it involves the three of us. There’s only two copies of this prophecy in the entire world. The first is locked away in the Royal Vaults. The second was given to me when I was determined to be the true Descendant of Twingaze.” Sollux withdrew a piece of parchment from his vest. “He wrote it in a code only his Descendant could decipher.”

“Sure, pull the other one, Captor, it’s got bells on it,” muttered Vriska. Nepeta slapped her.

“Give him some respect! …Sorry, your ladyship. I just…” Vriska laughed.

“Oh, I like it when people stand up to my authority.” Her grin turned sinister. “Although I like it more when they try my patience.” She turned to Sollux. “So, Toothless, what’s the paper say?” Vriska looked at it; it looked like Old Alternian, but garbled.

Sollux cleared his throat. “ _Malach ilqam mak aq’lachtash —_ “

“I meant how does it translate,” snapped Vriska. “I can’t understand Old Alternian.”

“This isn’t Old Alternian. It’s Proto-Alternian.” Sollux smirked. “But I suppose I could give a translation.” Sollux grabbed the paper and stood up. His eyes began glowing. “ **The Twelve Chosen must come together within the hallowed halls of the astral.** ” Sollux’s voice began reverberating, and he seemed to be speaking in chorus with a thousand copies of himself.

“ **There, with the Four Eternal, they shall protect all. And they shall be remembered forever. The Enforcer. The Diplomat. The Champion. The Inventor. The Archiver. The Herdsman. The Magister. The Foretold. The Apostate. The Overseer. The Attorney. The Baroness. The Mechanic. The Minister. The Archduke. The Princess. Each shall be remembered for deeds that shall rewrite the very paths of the stars, and shake Alternia to her foundations.** ” Sollux was now floating in the middle of the room, brilliant symbols surrounding him. His voice was growing louder as the symbols grew brighter and more numerous.

“ **But beware when this is spoken, for I tell you when I speak it again, it shall be through my descendant’s lips, and it shall be six weeks before the Final Reckoning. Prepare yourselves, those of the Twelve who hear my words. The time is nigh.** ” Suddenly the glowing stopped. Sollux dropped to the floor in a confused heap. He cleared his throat, and when he spoke again, his voice was back to normal. “Well. We just need to find the other nine.”

Nepeta grinned. “I could inform Karkat!” The other two arched eyebrows at her. “You know, the Foretold second coming of the Sufferer?” Vriska and Sollux exchanged glances.

“Nepeta,” said Vriska, “the moment you step outside that door, the Ministry’s hired goons will be all over you. You’re not going to make it ten feet before you get strung up. You’re staying here. If you know of a way to get this… Karkat? If you know how to get ahold of him, I’ll draft a message to him.” Vriska glared at her. “But until we are contacted by these ‘four eternal’ he’s not going to see hide nor hair of you unless he comes to Murkish.”

Nepeta crossed her arms and glowered. Sollux walked over to her. Vriska sighed again, this time with relief. Sollux would probably be able to say something to get her to stay.

“I’ll contact the Foretold. My Ancestor was one of his disciples, like yours. He’ll probably trust me.” Sollux began floating toward the door. “Oh, and Serket? If word gets out that she’s here, your head will be on the line too. Understood?” Nepeta and Vriska nodded.

“Good luck, Sollux!” Nepeta watched him head down the long hallway to the exit before settling further into the couch. “I just hope Karkat is safe.” Vriska rolled her eyes.

“What are you, flushed for him?”

“No,” said Nepeta. “He’s just my friend.” Nepeta looked up at the ceiling. “No… I wish I did have a matesprit, but Karkat couldn’t be it. Maybe if we were younger, I might think of it, but… he’s just a good friend.”

***

 **Parish of St. Grinwide, 5 weeks before the arrival of the Vanguard**

Herdsman Tavros Nitram locked the last of the woolbeasts in their pens. His power of communion really helped keep his livestock in line, and let him finish his work with time to spare at the church. He was a good friend of the local Minister, who (he was convinced) had some form of romantic interest in him. Walking in the front door, he could feel the mirthsorcery wash over him. Joy filled every fiber of his being. “Minister, I have come to pray.”

“Pray away, my brother,” said Minister Gamzee Makara, dressed in his ceremonial robes. “The Mirthful Messiahs watch over us all, brother.” Tavros grinned at Gamzee, whose white ceremonial paint had whimsical colored splotches on it. Gamzee leaned back. “Oh Mirthful Messiahs, bless this most awesome motherfucker and watch over his prayers.” Tavros saw Gamzee pull a bag of special stardust and walk over; as he bent his head, he felt the stardust come down on his horns and neck.

Tavros’s prayers were always quiet and simple, not unlike Tavros himself. Good prices for the meat, milk, eggs, cheese, and wool he produced, a good fall harvest for his friends the vegetable farmers, a great increase of offspring in his livestock. Never great wealth or titles of nobility; those headaches were more trouble than they were worth. He smiled; cluckbeast eggs were likely to go up in price, which was always cause for joy on the farmer’s end. “Brother Gamzee, thank you.”

“No problem, Tavbro.” Gamzee hugged Tavros, who awkwardly returned the gesture of affection. Gamzee’s mirthsorcery was probably the most powerful since the great St. Grinwide, but that didn’t mean he could make awkward go away, especially when the hug went on a little too long and the Minister ended the hug with a kiss on each cheek and one that was a little low on the nose to be deliberately aimed there. But the awkward faded as Tavros left the church to attend to his farm.

This year, he knew, would be a great harvest.

***

 **Brooding Chamber, 4 weeks before the arrival of the Vanguard**

Overseer Kanaya Maryam sighed as she looked at the Mother Grub, brooding with several trolls’ genetic contributions gathered over the course of the previous sweep. The offerings had been plentiful this sweep, and the mother grub would be well sated. And, truth be told, being so close to the Palace meant she’d be able to visit people frequently. Being barred from contributing wasn’t as bad as she thought it was, she kept reminding herself.

Not that it was an easy reminder when you remembered that the good friend who was sitting next to you was the Royal Matesprit, as well as being her Archiver. True, it wasn’t a perfect fit, but it was more action than Kanaya got. Not that Aradia rubbed it in. “I just can’t imagine how exciting it must be, helping all the little grubs find lusii!”

“Well, it can be a chore,” confessed Kanaya. “I still wish one of them could share my DNA.” Kanaya looked at the Mother Grub. “I think,” she said, “this will be Sarani’s last sweep. She’s almost three thousand sweeps old.” Aradia frowned.

“Does that mean there’ll be no more trolls until a new Mother Grub hatches?” Kanaya shook her head.

“Sarani has already begun grooming her successor. Natara. Natara will take over, but being inexperienced as she is, there will be fewer eggs. I estimate her first sweep will probably produce only twenty eggs.”

“So few… Aren’t there usually closer to two hundred?”

“Usually the number is closer to one thousand. Sadly, the last war put a lot of stress on Sarani. She’s only been laying five hundred a sweep, maximum, for the past fifty sweeps. So my predecessor said.”

“And so she would know. But at least Sarani survived the last war, yes?”

“Indeed.” Kanaya smiled. “I’m glad she did, too. Otherwise we might not exist.”

***

 **Engineers’ Guild Headquarters, 3 weeks before the arrival of the Vanguard**

“What brings a heretic like you to my machine-shop, Vantas?” Engineer Equius Zahhak was still sweating from a brutal day at the forge. The machine his Queen (no, Princess, he reminded himself) had requested, a ship capable of surviving the depths of space, was a tough order to fill. Especially since she had also requested it be built out of steel. But Equius Zahhak was a man of grand strength, and if he couldn’t do it, nobody could.

“Equius, would you can it with the heretic accusations?” Karkat seemed to be slightly on edge. “Anyway. I need a robot horse. Something fast.” Equius frowned.

“Normally, Vantas, I would be willing to assist an old friend, but I’m far too busy. Her Royal Maj— er, Highness — has sent me a nigh-impossible task. I am to create a ship that can fly through the depths of space!”

“Oh, sure, you can spend time on Feferi’s pipe dream moon boat, but you’ve got time to work on a steed for your old buddy Karkat. Not even,” muttered Karkat, “when the reason is so that he can visit his matesprit and assure her he’s still safe.” He shot a furtive glance at Equius, who was wiping sweat from his brow.

“I shall see what I can do, Vantas. In the meantime, you may use my hive to hide from the Ministry, who I am sure are chasing you.”

“I’ve got a friend in the Parish of St. Grinwide. They’re going to be on completely the wrong trail.” Karkat laughed a little. “Good ol’ Gamzee. More often than not he can’t figure out where he is, but he’s always willing to help out a friend in need.” Karkat grinned. “So… thanks, Equius. I’ll keep in touch.”

“Of course.”

***

 **The Offices of the Prosecution, Courtblock 881, 2 weeks before the arrival of the Vanguard**

Attorney Terezi Pyrope opened the letter from her onetime rival. Serket’s claws extended everywhere, but at least so far she hadn’t done anything blatantly illegal. Shame, really. She would be quite the adversary in the courtblock. It could lead to quite the rivalry, perhaps even a kismesissitude. But right now, she had a letter to read.

 ** Hey Pyrope,  
I 8et you weren’t expecting to hear from me. It’s 8een what, a sweep and a half? I’ve heard a8out your legal de8ut and I have to say, you’re doing really well! Anyway, I’m writing to you 8ecause Captor dropped 8y the other day. Apparently there’s some prophecy that I’m part of, and if I know our rivalry you’re pro8a8ly part of it too. Also, I need you to find some asshole named Karkat Vantas and tell him he’s a part of this 8ig clusterfuck. I eagerly aw8 your reply, Pyrope. >::::D  
-Vriska Serket, 8aroness of Murkish **

Terezi sighed. Did Vriska really think she was dumb enough to seriously think that the Baroness would be telling the truth just because she mentioned Sollux? She crumpled the letter in her hand. She was about to throw it out when the sound of a mechanical vehicle came outside the courtblock window.

Terezi looked out. There was a cloaked figure, riding one of Equius’s mechanical steeds. In his hand was clutched a letter. Terezi couldn’t see his horns, which either meant he was young, or the mysterious rider was Karkat. Well, she’d soon find out. If it was Karkat, he’d probably… and there he was, flipping off the guards as he walked into the building. Yup. It was Karkat.

It didn’t take him long at all to get up to her room. “Pyrope, we need to talk.” She raised an eyebrow at him. “I’m serious, Terezi. This is a letter Equius just got from Sollux, meant clearly for me and him.” Terezi grabbed it and opened it up.

 ** eq (and pr0bably als0 kk),  
ab0ut three and a half weeks ag0 i was visiting vk 0n matters c0ncerning a pr0phecy my ancest0r made. needless t0 say, she didn’t necessarily take it seri0usly. s0 i figured i'd send y0u this letter. i have a feeling y0u're part 0f a gr0up 0f twelve her0es fr0m alternia wh0 will save the universe. i kn0w vk, np, and i are, and i have a feeling i kn0w the 0ther nine. eq, if my guess is right, kk is with y0u right n0w, asking f0r s0mething in return f0r that fav0r he did y0u all th0se sweeps ag0. give it t0 him, then send a letter t0 gz. he sh0uld be able t0 get w0rd t0 ed and tv. kk, when y0u read this, i need y0u t0 find tz. let her kn0w h0wever y0u can that she’s 0ne 0f the twelve, pr0bably. the pr0phecy’s 0nly g0t tw0 and a half weeks 0r s0 t0 g0. i need t0 get every0ne aware 0f their r0le bef0re then. if y0u tw0 c0uld d0 y0ur part, that’d be great.  
thanks,  
s0llux **

Terezi uncrumpled the letter from Vriska, smoothing it out carefully. “Then I guess she wasn’t just lying and being a manipulative bitch,” muttered Terezi. “So, Karkles, what now?” Karkat shrugged. “You only came to tell me I’m in a prophecy?”

“No, if that were all I would’ve just dropped Sollux’s letter on your desk. I… I wanted to see you. To… well, to tell you that I’m still all right.” Terezi laughed.

“Well, maybe physically, but god, you just charged your heretical ass into the prosecution’s chambers of this courtblock, there’s something off with your think pan, Vantas.” She gave him a peck on the cheek. “Still, good to see you again.” She looked at Sollux’s letter again. “…Still. He really believes this prophecy bullshit?”

“Eh, his Ancestor got a lot of things right, I’d be kinda surprised if he got this wrong after all that.” Karkat grinned. “But enough about the prophecy and Sollux and Spiderbitch. I want to spend some time with you. Just us. Me… and my matesprit.”


	3. Landfall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The arrival of the IES Vanguard goes unnoticed by the planet. But the arrival of the Emissary doesn't go unnoticed by the Baroness of Murkish and her guests. What will this new arrival bring? Is she the vanguard predicted by the Magister's prophecy, or is there more to it than expected?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh FFS. This took me too long, because chapter 4 was being a bitch. But now that one's done, and I can move on to chapter five, and post this chapter. Which is good, because I like this chapter.

**The Barony of Murkish, one hour after the arrival of the Vanguard**

Vriska still wasn’t sure why Sollux had had everyone gather at her estate. Probably something to do with his stupid prophecies. She was still wondering how his teeth had gotten knocked out, although the glares he kept shooting at Kanaya were fueling suspicions. Vriska cleared her throat. “Okay, Captor, you’ve got us all together. Now what’s this about, and why the fuck did you put the heretics in the same room as one of the highest-ranking Ministers in the Ministry?”

“Because Gamzee won’t rat these four out,” replied Sollux. He added a glare that clearly said “And if you do, _I’ll_ make sure you don’t survive much longer." Vriska tossed her hair impatiently. “As for what we’re doing here, we’re waiting for whatever vanguard is coming from the prophecy. Their keeper will be our enemy, as Feferi knows.”

“Fucking hell, Captor, how many prophecies did your Ancestor have?”

“About two hundred seventy-five thousand,” said Aradia, looking over her scrolls. “Not counting apocrypha, unsubstantiated claims, and prophecies that failed to come true.” Aradia glanced at the scroll. “Numbers on those are about eight thousand, around thirteen thousand, and… sixteen.”

“Sixteen thousand prophecies wrong? Why the hell are we listening to this guy, then?”

“Not sixteen thousand,” replied Aradia. “Sixteen. Out of almost three hundred thousand. He’s one of the most prolific — and accurate — prophets Alternia’s ever seen.” Aradia turned to Sollux. “Is this where the egg will land?”

“Yes. My Ancestor predicted an arrival in this area.” Sollux used his psionic powers to lift a map of Alternia in front of the group. A pen joined it. “You see, there are certain hints in what he said. Firstly, he said it was away from the oceans’ gentle caress. That leaves out anything beachside.” Sollux crossed out a large amount of area.

“OK, so we don’t have beaches to worry about. That still doesn’t mean it’s here,” said Karkat, absent-mindedly stroking Terezi’s hair as she lay her head in his lap.

“Maybe if you’d let me keep going, you asshole, I’d explain more?” Sollux cleared his throat. “Anyway. His next clue is a bit weird, and I think Aradia was operating under the mistaken assumption that he meant for the landing to be in the breeding dens — except that he uses a different phrasing. He says _‘al eq’lahim ma daraq Emaqtar Gahlaqra’_ , which means ‘Where the Mother Grub was slain’, instead of _‘al eq’laheim ma daraq Emaqtar Gahlaqra’_ , which would mean ‘Where the Mother Grub will have been slain’. So we have to look for Mother Grub death sites.”

“Which, as I’ve explained before,” said Aradia angrily, “is the brooding caverns.”

“Not quite,” said Kanaya. “A Mother Grub allows her successor to take her place before leaving the brooding caverns to die. Generally they head in the four cardinal directions. Now, Aradia, do you have the name of the Mother Grub in Twingaze’s time?”

“Just a minute.” Aradia shuffled through the scrolls. “Here it is. Qashai.” Kanaya frowned.

“Qashai lived for another two hundred sweeps after Twingaze’s death, but she’d definitely have been the one who laid his egg.” Kanaya walked over to the map. “Qashai primarily laid in this region, before Queen Loftgarb — our esteemed Princess’s Ancestor — moved the brooding grounds to underneath the Palace in order to better protect our young.” She circled an area on the map.

Nepeta frowned thoughtfully. “That’s in the border between here and Archduke Ampora’s territory. She would have had to have headed north for her death site to be near here.” Nepeta glanced at Aradia’s scrolls.

Tavros looked them over as well. “Um… there was a mother grub who died shortly before Twingaze’s laying. Thiaka. Where did she, er, die?”

“Mother Thiaka?” Kanaya pondered for a moment. “Well, she laid primarily in this area, once part of the March of Sekantra, and records indicate she left west when she was finished brooding.” More lines were drawn on the map. “Didn’t make it too far, though; her skull still marks the boundary between Murkish and Evadin.”

“That’s the only intact Mother Grub skull in the area. Vriska, how close is that to this hive?”

“It’s just over that hill. I always figured it was a gift from my Ancestor, didn’t bother to remove it. And since it marks the boundary between our lands, that idiot Viscount of Evadin didn’t have it removed either.”

“I’m not sure it’s a good idea to call the Viscount of Evadin at the time an idiot,” said Equius. “At least, not while he’s in the room with you. Or while the Princess to whom he was Vizier is in the room either.” Equius bowed his head respectfully to Feferi. Vriska snorted a forceful laugh.

“C’mon, you big wriggler, act your age. You’re fifteen, not five.” Vriska glanced at Aradia. “And speaking of fifteen, you’re aging surprisingly well, Aradia. I’d figure you’d be creaking by now.”

“I’m not going to die until death himself comes to drag me into hell.”

“Which will be what, nine sweeps at the most?” Kanaya shoved herself between the two of them.

“That’s enough. Right now we’re going to greet a woman from an egg, not bicker and start kismesissitudes that we might not be able to follow up on for a while.”

Eridan glanced at the window. “Well, come on, let’s get this fuckin’ show started. The egg’s gonna arrive any time now an’ I don’t wanna miss it.” He stood up, and the other eleven trolls followed suit. Gamzee laughed a little as he followed Eridan out.

“Hey, Soldude, thanks for puttin’ your trust in me. I know you don’t know me, but I like to think that any righteous bro of Karman’s is a motherfucker I can get down with.” Gamzee grinned. “So what’s this egg supposed to look like?”

Karkat, who was right in front of them, shielded his eyes. “I believe,” he said, “that the egg is the incredibly bright red thing screaming as it plummets to Alternia.” After blinking a couple times, Karkat nodded. “Yup. Brilliant red thing crashing into the ground is probably the egg.”

“But wouldn’t that crack the motherfucker?”

***

 **The Landing Site**

Rose Lalonde hesitantly stepped out of the pod. Atmosphere was perfectly normal, about as warm as a spring day at her house. “Air’s breathable,” she said, speaking through her wrist communicator. “Am apparently being greeted by some of the natives. Just a moment, John.” Rose looked at all of them. They were gray-skined and had horns, but otherwise looked like normal humans. “Ahem. Hello.” Rose pointed to herself. “I am Rose Lalonde. You are?”

The one in front, who had four horns, paused, then pointed at himself and said, “Sollux Captor.” He then began pointing at other trolls and landscape features. “Karkat Vantas” was one of his friends, as was “Eridan Ampora”, but then came Obvresk Mochtar Galach’taiaz Thiaka, which was the skull she’d landed next to. Her translator was on “Record and Analyze”, fortunately, so it wouldn’t take all that long unless he purposely tried to mimic her speech. And if there was a god, he’d give these people the intuition to speak their language into the device.

One of them, a Scorpio symbol prominent on her chest, shoved her way forward. “Sollux, gevnakat botlaqh ilik. Ilakta mak’qharla zokh vruz?” Rose grinned.

“…Vriska, alimnekh zokh. Pravasad ilik.” Vriska (since that was apparently her name) laughed, at which point Karkat gave her a pointed glare.

“Vriska, kzebov. Ektabolvi mirtakla Sollux. Evnesdobr Mochtar Galach’taiaz, eqhmahir chaidovot ikin.” Vriska rolled her eyes.

“Izbarvat kelzatsch, ulugtak, ez zokeiqh malha sil.” Karkat responded by punching her in the mouth. The device was beginning to pick up the language.

“Excuse me,” said Rose, speaking into it. “Which of you is the leader?” The device beeped. Rose looked at the screen. On it was printed “INSUFFICIENT DATA”. Rose sighed, pulling out her tried-and-trusty pictionary pad. On it, she drew the twelve trolls, then drew pictures of eleven bowing to each one in turn. “Which?” The thirteen pictures floated in the air.

A tall troll with long horns stepped forward. She had a Pisces symbol on a necklace. “Sil. Evbatra sil.” Rose nodded. She bowed in greeting to the PIsces.

“I come in peace,” she said. The translator whirred for a few moments before it, again, blinked with the words INSUFFICIENT DATA. Rose pointed to herself. “Rose.” She pointed to the leader (Queen? Empress? She sincerely hoped it wasn’t the latter; that would complicate things).

“Evbatra Feferi Peixes. Dalaq eshkatal, Rose?” Feferi smiled and bowed; Rose was glad that, at least, got picked up quickly. Even if the bow did seem to make the others somewhat worried. One, a Sagittarius if his chest spoke for him, shoved her roughly away.

“Azbavrak’mei, Rose Lalonde.” He stood between the two of them.

Sollux stepped forward. “Equius, nak’vard.” The Sagittarius turned to him and frowned. “Equius, _pravasad ilik_. Achvaras ilik.”

The group soon began arguing. Although it began with Sollux Captor and Equius, Eridan Ampora and the Leo quickly entered the fray. This drew in the Libra, who pulled in Karkat Vantas, whose involvement dragged in Vriska, the Capricorn, and the Taurus — and Vriska’s involvement brought in the Virgo. Feferi and the Aries sighed, but eventually Feferi herself entered the fray. The Aries, meanwhile, turned to look at Rose. She gestured curiously to the language translator. Rose reluctantly handed it over; the shouts were getting to the point where it would only garble the translator anyway.

The Aries pointed to herself upon receipt of the device. “Aradia Megido.” She then began fiddling with it, which caused Rose to try to take it back. The last xeno to touch her device before they had been properly introduced the the Imperium had almost totally destroyed it. But Aradia was apparently a master at keep-away, and soon she’d activated the text scan feature — which was completely useless at the moment, as there weren’t any texts around.

Aradia quickly proved Rose wrong when hundreds of scrolls floated from somewhere in the distance — a house-looking place — to near Aradia. She gestured at the pictograph, and Rose, though still wary, handed it to her. Aradia began speaking at the translator and drawing symbols on the pictograph. Soon, the text scanner had the entire alphabet and language in it. Rose’s eyebrows were raised. Aradia was apparently fairly good with technology — or perhaps information was her forte.

Aradia set to work using the text scanner on all sorts of documents. Rose flipped a small lens over her eye so she could see the data input into the translator, as well as its current analysis. “Lexicon updating. Word meaning approximately 2% certain. Input has reached 300 MB.” Rose frowned. It would take a lot more scrolls to get the information she needed. She walked over to Karkat and dragged him out of the shouting match. “Karkat.” She pointed at the scrolls. “More.” She paused. The word popped up on her lens. “Karkat. Isagr.” Karkat glanced at the scrolls, then sighed.

“Terezi! Nepeta! Veiachta isagr!” He glanced at Sollux. “Veiachta isagr kelvet zokh, Sollux?”

“De.” Sollux began running towards the place where the scrolls had come from. The Leo, meanwhile, pulled a thick tome from her coat.

“Nepeta Leijon,” she said, pointing to herself. Soon, the Virgo stepped forward. The two of them placed the tome next to Aradia’s unfinished scrolls. “Kanaya Maryam,” she said, introducing Virgo.

“Terezi Pyrope,” explained the Libra, pointing to herself. She placed several letters on top of Nepeta’s book. Kanaya added a diary, as did Vriska.

“Eh… Tavros Nitram,” said the Taurus, bowing to her. He pointed to the Capricorn. “Veraskev Gamzee Makara, az Raskevulok.” Tavros shrugged uncomfortably and moved to the side. Gamzee grabbed a much thinner book from his robes and placed it on the pile. Rose walked over to Aradia.

“Aradia. Scanner?” She pointed at her device. Aradia handed it over. Rose pressed a couple buttons, then held it over the remaining material. “Acquisition status?”

“Lexicon updating,” replied the computerized voice. “Word meaning approximately 41% certain. Key words in language detected and translatable. Input has reached 881 GB. Communication not yet stable. Suggested requests include library.” Rose sighed, then spoke into the device. “Where is the nearest library?” The alien language flowed from the device in a wonderful facsimile of Rose’s voice.

The others stared at her for a moment before Vriska replied. The device translated for Rose — translation wasn’t yet instantaneous. “My hive. Follow me.” And with that, the thirteen moved in the direction of.. a hive? Was that what the house was called?

***

 **The Library of the Baroness**

To her credit, Vriska had a large library. That much, Aradia was willing to grudgingly admit. And she’d managed to somehow get her hands on a dictionary and an encyclopedia, both of which would be useful for the archive device. Which was apparently also a translator somehow. Equius would probably be able to figure it out, since he was an engineer. Rose was busy scanning the books on the shelves, not even bothering to open them or remove them. Aradia briefly worried about the books being irreparably ruined, which made her bite her lip.

But then Rose’s eyepiece beeped. And then came the most unusual thing. “Twelve pods.” Unlike before, Rose was speaking perfect Alternian somehow. “Please, everyone, take one of these and swallow it. It’s not poison, trust me. It’s a neurolinguistic enhancement pod. It’ll allow you to speak any language known by a nearby translation device and be understood.” Aradia looked dubiously at the little pill. Could a pill really do all that?

Then she saw Sollux take the pill and swallow it down. He just had absolute trust in this Rose, didn’t he? In his eyes, she could do no wrong. Aradia sighed and swallowed the pill. After a few moments, she felt something spreading throughout her brain, plastering itself on the inside of her skull. It felt strange, but not entirely uncomfortable. It almost felt like a massage, and by the time it was over she was wishing it would continue forever. She tapped Feferi on the shoulder. “All fine, Your Majesty.” Feferi nodded, taking the pill and swallowing it. That was the only thing holding everyone else back — if the Princess did it, they could feel comfortable doing it too.

“So what language are we speaking right now anyway?” asked Vriska, looking at Rose. “It better not be some weird greenmoonspeak.”

“Right now you’re all conversing in Alternian. Switching languages requires a bit of a thought exercise that I’ll eventually teach you.” Rose smiled at them, bowing again. “Allow me to properly introduce myself. I am Rose Lalonde, Imperial Envoy of the Terran Imperium, under the reign of Imperator Androcles the First. We wish to be your allies, and judge your worthiness to join our Imperium.” At that point, a crackle echoed from Rose’s head.

Clearly, she had begun a conversation, because her first words were “Yes, Slick, I can tell. What the hell is it now?” After a brief pause, she continued. “We’re investigating a species on Androcles’s orders. I’ve got a good feeling about these guys.” The trolls looked at each other, trying to figure out where the conversation was going. “I’m an envoy, not a mind-reader, Slick. You just be glad I’m on better terms with you than I am with Cal.”

Aradia glanced at Feferi, who nodded. This “Cal” sounded like someone who’d angered her quite horribly in the past. Still, Rose kept plugging away at the conversation. “Shove it up your ass and call it a pinecone, Slick. Tell Droog thanks for the card and kindly stop trying to interfere with my missions.” Rose sighed. “And tell Queen that the _Vanguard_ is Dave’s fleet, not hers, so there’s no reason she should be expecting it in her fleet barring another Omicron Persei 8 incident.” The strange crackle went off again, and then Rose looked at the group. “Sorry about that. Anyway, I hereby extend the hand of Terra to you, Princess Feferi, in peace and understanding.” Rose held out her hand.

Feferi paused. “OK. What do I do?”

“Hold out your hand and take mine,” said Rose. Feferi nodded, extending her arm and taking hold of Rose’s hand. “Now, repeat what I do.” Rose moved her hand up and down. Feferi did the same thing. Rose released Feferi’s hand, and Feferi released Rose’s. “That’s kind of an important ritual back on Terra. Now, I’m going to have to ask the twelve of you to come with me for now.” Rose paused. “You… do form a representative sample of your species, right?”

“Well, we’ve got trolls from all over the hemospectrum, and a good assortment of professions. As well as a fairly good cultural spread. So… yes!” Rose grinned.

“Feferi, you have no idea how happy it makes me to hear that.” On came the crackle again. “John, transport for thirteen. Yes, swift. No, don’t bring the entire Vanguard down, just send a part. No, I just don’t want the planet to have a giant spaceship landing on it.” Crackle off. Quickly, what appeared to be a box was outside Vriska’s hive. “Don’t worry, there’s enough room inside — though it may get snug.” Rose led them to the craft, and all thirteen went in through the back before Rose pressed a button, closing them off from the world they knew.

Aradia frowned, walking over to Rose. “Rose… aren’t you the vanguard?”

“Well, I suppose I could be viewed like that, but the truth is, I’m one of the grew of the IES Vanguard, a ship that serves the Imperator’s interests directly.” Rose pressed a different button, and the ship jolted upwards. That was the cue for twelve trolls to drop to the floor, some intentionally and some by accident, and then slowly get up. “Sorry. This is just the fastest way to get you on board the Vanguard… and I’d prefer to speak with the twelve of you up there.”


End file.
